The Arithmetic of Forgiveness

Peter once asked Jesus an honest question: How many times should I forgive someone who trespasses against me? He knew to expect the unexpected from Jesus, and since the Rabbis of his time taught that you should forgive 3 times then stop, Peter estimated that the perfect number might be 7 times. That still feels like a lot!

Jesus said, “No, not 7 times. But 7 times 70” …. essentially infinity! Then He explained with the story of a merciful master and a servant who had a debt of 10,000 talents. (1 talent = about 6,000 working days, so x 10k is about about 60 million days of work). The normal approach would be to recoup what he could by liquidating the debt by selling all that the man had, including his family, or to debtors prison. The man begged for mercy, and the master was moved with compassion and completely obsolved him from the debt. But then the man went out and would not be patient with another who owed him 100 pence (about 100 days of work), and by doing that he lost his forgiven status before his Master.

Jesus said basically, your forgiveness and patience will help those you give it to, yes, but the reason I command you to give it again and again is about preserving your standing before your Father in Heaven, who continues to offer you that kind of patience.
To forgive is to repeatedly release yourself from bondage to destructive feelings about past offenses. It’s an act of self-definition that keeps us free.

Learning and growing to be more like our Father takes a lot of time, a lot of repeated efforts, and even a lot of mistakes. The “not keeping tally of past mistakes” plan that God offers us is a much better deal for us. We can choose that plan by forgiving.

Stretch

“Jesus entered into a synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand.
And he said unto him Stand forth.
And he said unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.”
Mark 3:1–5

Like so many of His miracles, here Jesus asked the man to do the action while Jesus’s power did the work behind the scenes.
The healing was so complete that we might be tempted to wonder if that hand had ever been withered.

Jesus holds the power to restore the parts of us – our lives, our habits, our hearts, our relationships, that are withered or not yet what we hope they would be.

To receive a healing miracle, we must focus our faith on Jesus Christ, and do what He asks to stretch.

And after we change, may we always remember how He healed us, when we were not whole.

When You Come to a Locked Door

As you make your way though the halls and rooms of life, you may come to doors that are closed and won’t seem to budge. You may feel held back or unable to move forward in the direction you intended.

I feel this way at times when there is something inside of me that I’ve become aware is not quite right before God:

a commandment that I struggle with, or a Christlike attribute that doesn’t come naturally for me– Something I know I should do or be, but I’m not yet.

Sometimes it is forgiveness I feel unready to give.

Sometimes closed doors are a gospel question I can’t quite wrap my head around, and my heart is held back, insisting on an answer before I move forward.

Sometimes it’s a question about God’s plan– how it’s been unfolding through mortals, or how it’s been unfolding in my own life.

I think running into a locked door can be a sign your are actually moving in the right direction.

But locked doors can feel frustrating. They can stop our forward momentum.

Jesus said something to help — a key when you run into a locked door:

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:”

Matthew 7:7

Locked doors test us and what we really want.

Sometimes I realize I am seeking God and His ways with only partial effort and part of my attention, or a bit of entitlement. Partial intention won’t open doors like these.

Locked doors can help us focus our faith in Jesus and our Father, and their ability to move mountains in our lives.

When I finally realize what is needed, it is both humbling and a relief at the same time:

To get down on my knees and plead for God’s help, and to get up on my feet and ask by my actions.

And it really does work.

“Then when you call, the Lord will answer. Thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am.” Isaiah 58:9

Like a good parent, He does strive to say Yes as often as He can.

If some doors remain closed to you a while longer, ask why, ask if there is something else you can do, and then let your heart rest, trusting in the Lord as you look for another nearby passageway that still leads in His direction. This too shows your real intention.

I believe doors are made for our good. Doors are made to open at the right time.

May we learn to knock.

He Sent Me to Heal

Jesus summed up His mission– what He was sent to do– with a scripture from Isaiah, which he read on a Sabbath in the synagogue in His hometown:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will have their sight restored, and prisoners will be freed. To comfort all that mourn”
Isaiah 61:1-2

His mission is to help us heal from the wounds of the heart we acquire in this life, to give us clearer vision of who we are, to help us lay down things that hold us back, and to find His peace and His comfort.

His goal and focus is to help us all heal, so we can join Him in the work of healing wounded souls.

Eliza’s Poem

In 1845, Eliza R. Snow wrote the words of this poem, which she titled My Father in Heaven.

O my Father, thou that dwellest

In the high and glorious place,

When shall I regain thy presence

And again behold thy face?

In thy holy habitation,

Did my spirit once reside?

In my first primeval childhood

Was I nurtured near thy side?                                 

For a wise and glorious purpose

Thou hast placed me here on earth

And withheld the recollection

Of my former friends and birth;

Yet ofttimes a secret something

Whispered, “You’re a stranger here,”

And I felt that I had wandered

From a more exalted sphere.

I had learned to call thee Father,   

Thru thy Spirit from on high,

But, until the key of knowledge

Was restored, I knew not why.

In the heavens are parents single?

No, the thought makes reason stare!

Truth is reason; truth eternal

Tells me I’ve a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence,

When I lay this mortal by,

Father, Mother, may I meet you

In your royal courts on high?

Then, at length, when I’ve completed

All you sent me forth to do,       

With your mutual approbation

Let me come and dwell with you.

Eliza R. Snow, 1804–1887

Eliza was reflecting on things she had learned from Joseph Smith, including distinctive truths of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ:

  • Our spirits lived in a pre-earth existence before birth.
  • All are beloved spirit children of a Heaven Father and Heavenly Mother.1
  • The purpose of life is a wise and glorious purpose or plan. It included leaving our Heavenly home to gain experiences and accomplish specific work.
  • The longings of the human heart for belonging, love, and something more – are related to our nature as children of God.
  • It is our goal to someday return to our Heavenly Home, having completed all we were sent to learn and do, and enjoy the approval and presence of our Heavenly parents.
  • God sent His firstborn spirit Son, Jesus Christ, to make possible our safe return to their presence and their approval. Because of His gift, we can be healed from life’s wounds, forgiven of mistakes, and choose the kind of life that we really want.

These truths are treasures. Knowing them changes everything.

Easter: Sunday will Come

I would like to share with you the words of Apostle Joseph B. Wirthlin, shortly after losing his wife Elisa. They had been married 65 years. He described of the pain of losing a loved one: “It gnaws at your soul.”

Then he said, “I think of how dark that Friday was when Jesus Christ was lifted up on the cross. On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead— was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled. I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.

But the doom of that day did not endure. The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of grief now filled the air with praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.

The Resurrection is the reuniting of the spirit and body in its perfect form. Can you imagine that? Life at our prime? Never sick, never in pain, never burdened by the ills that so often beset us in mortality?

Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—no matter how dark our Friday, Sunday will come.”

Abridged by me from Elder Wirthlin’s talk “Sunday Will Come” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2006/10/sunday-will-come?lang=eng

The Struggle and the Promise

The personal struggle to face questions and doubts and to gain real spiritual momentum is often a desperate battle. The personal cost is high and at times it feels the mountain looms too steep before you.

Our Savior invites us to take our next few steps. If we do, we will soon notice that the mountain itself has shifted, and no longer feels so hopeless. This is the miracle of the “grace for grace” help He offers. It is available to you and me, after we take our next few steps.

We can ask ourselves and those we love, “What do you feel the Savior is directing you to do? What is your next step?”

The Man who helped the blind to see and the paralyzed to stand and walk, still has power to open our eyes to spiritual truth. He can help us overcome our paralysis of doubt or procrastination. He will help you and me stand up and walk His covenant path.

I think Elder Holland said it best: “Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe.”

Offroad

I was in the backseat when the wheel came off. It was spring of 2009 on a dirt road in eastern Mongolia. The problem was partly that a dozen people were packed in this minivan-sized “Mikro-bus”. But the main problem was the road from Choibalsan to Ulaanbaatar had long stretches of unpaved dirt roads, and drivers often made their own road beside the main one. The resulting tangle of “choose your own way” dirt roads with deep ruts and crazy washboard bumps were hard on the vehicles and on the passengers. We had banged our head on the ceiling a few times going over the bumps.

One of these bumps finally broke the camel’s back and the van suddenly lurched sideways. We felt the the right back corner of the bus dragging loudly through the sandy dirt until we came to a stop. I thought we had blown a tire, but no, the whole wheel had come off.  And it wasn’t that the lugnuts had some loose…  the five metal bolts that held the wheel had completely sheered off.  

It was getting cold on the Mongolian steppe as the sun had just set. Our group of volunteer missionaries and English teachers included two young women and a senior couple. In the distance we saw a Mongolian Ger (yurt), and a shepherd on a motorcycle drove over to us to invite us in. As our driver and a friend figured out how replace the wheel bolts we were welcomed into the home of this nomad herdsman family, who offered us warm milk and bread.

In recalling this story A Mongolian song I learned came to mind. The translation is roughly, “Like the horses on the green steppe appear silvery, the words of my wise father are always true: if you go aright, you’ll have happiness even in your dreams. If you go right, you’ll have a smooth, smooth road.”

I have thought a lot about the difference of being on a paved road, makes.  The difference of having a road at all.

Life is full of choices, and this life we find ourselves in allows us to choose our path. Many voices suggest there isn’t a right and wrong at all. The gospel of Jesus Christ says there is a way.

We have all spent some time traveling rough roads, or in the frustration of spinning our wheals, and feeling like we’re offtrack. Our time wandering bumpy roads prepares us to appreciate the beauty and peace of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As the prophet Alma taught: “the way is prepared that whosoever (wants to) may walk therein and be saved.” Alma 41:8

The gospel path of following Jesus Christ is not always easy, but it is a better way.

The path includes learning about Jesus Christ by studying His life and words. His words come to us through those He sent and still sends. His path includes life-changing repentance, and living by faith in Him. Promising to try to remember Him and keep His commandments. Striving to forgive others and ourselves; to serve and love.

As a teen I was invited to get more fully on the path by the example of friends whose lives had a certain power and beauty, because they had a focus on following His path.

I can testify that following Jesus Christ makes life better. It makes decisions simpler. He makes relationships richer. His peace is like the relief of driving on a fresh paved road.

We all get off at times. Sometimes we struggle to find the road.

I am grateful that He has provided a path, and ways back to it. The road is there for us to travel back to our heavenly home.

His promises

For the past six months we have been studying the scriptures with a specific question: “What has God promised to do for his covenant people?”

President Nelson defined the people of covenant Israel as those who are willing to let God prevail in their lives. They are “the house of Israel, even as many as have loved me and kept my commandments.” (Doctrine and Covenants 29:12)

This invitation from our prophet has helped me see and hear the words of the scriptures differently. The voice of our Father in Heaven, inviting me to His path and assuring me of His support, is becoming clearer from the scriptures.

Here are some highlights:

To those who choose to let God prevail in their lives and to be His people, God promises:

-Comfort, support, healing, and strength

-Forgiveness of past mistakes, reconciliation with our God and with each other

-Protection against enemies, weapons, and many other dangers. “No weapon formed against thee shall prosper” (Isaiah 54:17)

-Sufficient means, financial help, eventually very great riches, lasting riches. “He who has eternal life is rich”

-Land, a home of safety, a land of your own, even a mansion in the kingdom of God

-Family. A lasting posterity, many children, peace in your home, and love in your family.

-The ability to bless many other people, even all the families of the earth responsibilities to serve and teach

-The power to make a difference, to heal what has been hurt, to repair the breaches of past generations, and lay a legacy for generations to come.

“Thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and shall be called, The repairer of the breach, the restorer of paths to dwell in.” (Isaiah 58:12)

These are just a few of God’s promises to His people. They are rich and beautiful. They are personal and tender.

There are also promises of warning: that we cannot take of His blessings and then turn from His ways without incurring serious consequences. Like the people of ancient Israel, we who are seeking this path today find ourselves making mistakes and falling from favor with God from time to time. The consequences can be painful. Yet through all our learning process, I am grateful for the promise made possible by our Savior: of forgiveness when we repent, second chances when resolve again to walk in God’s ways.

I am grateful for God’s promises.

They are reliable and remarkable!

The Stash of Chocolate

As part of my parents’ efforts to teach us kids emergency preparedness and food storage, my dad sometimes bought large boxes of food. He said that if the prediction was true that one day a bushel of wheat would be worth its weight in gold, then imagine how much a box of chocolate bars will be worth?

So in addition to wheat and soups and ketchup, large boxes of chocolate bars were secured in the back corner of the food storage room.

A feeling of satisfaction and peace of mind comes from having enough for your needs and more put away for a rainy day…

… so long as your stash is secure.

Some time later, my dad found himself in charge of providing the s’mores supplies for a campout with a big group of boys and dads. He knew he could do it, no problem. He went to get some chocolate bars from his large supply, only to find it… gone.

An investigation ensued.

My sisters’ bedrooms happened to be near the foodstorage room. The chocolate stash had been discovered. In the dark of night it had been smuggled out and enjoyed, one bar at a time. Other siblings had found wrappers under beds and caught wind of the chocolate trafficking. They had been paid off (in chocolate) to keep quiet. And now, the bars of future gold, were gone.


I admit to having visited the food storage room myself from time to time for a little chocolate.

My mother said that while she was growing up, she knew that her mom always kept a stash of chocolate chips. After finding it a few times, my mom said the stash was moved and despite extensive searches, it could not be found again.

My Grandma Sue was an elementary school teacher and has always impressed us with her understanding of the human psyche.

Only after her kids were grown was her secret revealed: Grandma Sue kept her chocolate chips in the freezer, in an empty bag for Frozen Peas. As a teenager my mom had lifted that bag more than once and moved it out of the way while searching the freezer for the chocolate chips.


In the past year worldwide interest in food storage (and toilet paper storage) has grown. The principles of self-reliance and preparedness are coming into focus.

I like these new resources for developing Self-Reliance in finances and emotional resiliance.

We are all learning to ask ourselves: “How prepared am I for future shortages and future challenges?” And like my dad’s chocolate, “How reliable is my stored supply?”

The most important preparation for the future is building our faith and connection to Jesus Christ. I find myself needing reminders to not put my trust in finances, in systems, or in myself, but rather in Him. Life has a lot to work on and worry about. But Jesus Christ invites us to come unto Him, to seek first the Kingdom of God, and to trust that all other things will be added to us.